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How the Grinches Stole Crypto!

Published 14 Dec 2022

(With love and respect to Dr. Suess)

Every investor down in Web3ville Liked Crypto a lot…
But the Grinches on islands outside of Web3ville, Did NOT!
To be clear, the Grinches liked Crypto! The whole ecosystem!
Now, what they didn’t like, were rules and rhyme and reason.
It could be their heads weren’t screwed on Bro-right.
It could be, perhaps, that their egos were too Bro-tight.
But I think that the most likely reason, if you dig,
May be that their greed was two sizes too big.
Whatever the reason, thinking their customers were fools,
They stood there in 2022, hating the rules,

Staring down from their Grinch bunkers with greedy, Grinchy frowns,
At the warm lighted windows of trusting investors in town.
For they heard every investor, every Web3ville sound,
Was busy now, planning for a market rebound.
“We’ll make our own crypto!” they snarled with a sneer,
“We have the trust and the funds! It’s practically here!”
Then they growled, with their Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“WE MUST find some way to keep the prices pumping!”
Then they stared down at Web3ville! The Grinches popped their eyes!
Then they shook! What they saw was a shocking surprise!

Every investor down in Web3ville, the tall and the small,
Had lost everything! No crypto at all!
But they HADN’T stopped crypto from coming! Why bother to point blame?
Somehow or other, crypto is still just the same!
And the Grinches, with their grinch-feet fleeing their homes,
Stood puzzling and muzzling, and checking their phones,
“The smart investors don’t care! They believe in the tech!”
“No matter how badly, we’ve made things a wreck!”
And they puzzled three hours, till their puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinches thought of something they hadn’t before!

“Maybe crypto,” they thought, “doesn’t come from any.”
“Maybe crypto…perhaps…must come from many!”
“Maybe crypto,” they thought, “can’t come from one station.”
“Maybe crypto…perhaps…must have REGULATION!”
And what happened then? Well…in Web3ville they say,
That the Grinches’ small brains grew three sizes that day!
But for the rest of the Bros, it simply didn’t matter,
The Grinches’ greed had cause them to scatter,
The Grinches defeated themselves, and now they flee!
And crypto and it’s uses will be back for ‘23!

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